Christmas For The Furious Five
by FearlessTiger
Summary: Christmas fic à la FearlessTiger! Find out how the Furious Five have spent their Christmas this year and see why Master Tigress hates surprises!
1. Chapter 1

Christmas For The Furious Five

A.N.: Goodie! Punishment's over! Yes, I do seem to get punished a lot, don't I? *Sigh* C'est la vie. Anyway, to show you that I'm not dead yet (not gonna get rid of me that easy), I've prepared a Christmas fic! To make up for the looooong delay in all my updates, I'm gonna do something I've never done before. I'll update this story's chapters as I write them NOW, and I mean NOW, as in.. Next one's gonna be up in a few hours, so.. Wish me luck... And someone gimme a masseuse.. And before you guys point it out, YES, I KNOW there was no Christmas in Ancient China, but gimme a break, will ya? Anyway, Merry Christmas to everyone!

Disclaimer: You again? WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME? No. I don't own Kung Fu Panda. Happy? *Real Fearless comes running with bloody daggers towards clone* WHAT DID YOU SAY? KUNG FU PANDA IS MIIIIINE! *Ends with murderous scene* Speak of the Christmas spirit...

Christmas For The Furious Five

''Please?''

''No.''

''Pretty please?''

''I said no.''

''Come on! It's gonna be fun!''

''For you, maybe. For me, it would be completely embarrassing.''

''Still, please!''

''NO.''

The Jade Palace looked formidable. Its walls were adorned with the most beautiful of tinsel, made by the greatest masters of textiles in all China. Crystal globes seemed to float in the air, thanks to the almost invisible silk thread they were hanging on to.

Everyone would stop and admire the palace, especially in the morning, when the sun was not hidden by clouds and the beautiful jade construction glittered in its light, seeming to be made out of gold and silver.

Never had the Valley of Peace been so well prepared for Christmas. The smell of sponge cake filled every house and even Mr. Ping's noodle restaurant had added a special Christmas menu next to the routine he and his son always did, entertaining a small audience on Christmas Eve.

But also, never had Master Shifu been so keen on celebrating Christmas. It was for the first time in twenty years when he sent word to the Imperial City and ordered decorations and even an immense Christmas tree they had all placed in the center of the Valley, along with a sack in which every parent had placed a present for his children. Nobody knew exactly what the red sack was for, since it was solely the Dragon Warrior's idea. He had told them that they would find out on Christmas Eve.

And Christmas Eve had come. On a beautiful, quite sunny Saturday. And the citizens were truly enjoying it. Children were fighting with snowballs, building fortresses, making snow angels... All the small things that, together, form one's childhood.

But the adults.. They did not have time for those actions anymore. Especially the Furious Five and the Dragon Warrior, who, even though it was Christmas Eve and should have been preparing for the upcoming holy day, were in the middle of an intense training session.

''Hyah!'' Yelled Tigress, her fist connecting with one of the Swinging Clubs of Oblivion and piercing through the wood instantly. She felt no pain whatsoever, even though any other person would have, and proceeded with destroying all the others, to her panda friend's permanent awe.

''Does she ever get tired of it?'' The Dragon Warrior could not help asking (for the billionth time), forgetting about the dummy he was fighting. Yet, he remembered everything about it, including shape and colour, when it hit him straight in the face, sending him crashing into a wall. Involuntarily, of course.

Laughter filled the room as four of the Furious Five dropped their stance and approached the Dragon Warrior. It was time for them to eat dinner anyways, so if Master Shifu decided to check on them, they'd have an excuse for quitting their training.

''Po, will you ever learn?'' Viper sweetly asked, still giggling, as she helped the dizzy panda to his feet. He grabbed his head with his paws, trying to stop his eyeballs from rolling and to ignore his comrades' laughter as they left the room at the sound of the evening gong.

It was only then when Tigress gracefully jumped on safe land, suppressing a chuckle. It was quite amusing how such things could only happen to the panda: he sure was something different.

She started to walk towards the door, but noticed that her friend was not following. The tiger then turned around and lifted one eyebrow. He couldn't have hurt himself that bad.

''Po?''

The Dragon Warrior seemed to be looking for something behind the training dummy. That got Tigress' attention. What could have been more important for Po than his dinner?

''Po, did you lose something?'' She asked and took a few steps towards the panda, who quickly got up from his kneeling position and involuntarily kicked the dummy in the process, making it bounce back and hit him again.

''Ow! Ah, uh.. Tigress! Nope. What makes you think I lost something? I mean.. Uh, I thought I did, but it seems I didn't! Lucky me..'' He finished with a nervous laugh, scratching the back of his head.

The tiger came to a single conclusion: the panda was up to something. She analyzed him for a moment, which, for some reason, to Po seemed to be eternity, before deciding that she would let him do whatever he wanted to, until he got too obvious.

Tigress then turned around, pretending not to hear the panda's relieved sigh, and, with a shrug, played her last card.

''Okay then, Po. Let's go eat dinner. You know we have that special meal today.''

She did not even look behind. She expected Po to use his hidden turbo and fly towards the kitchen. So she almost did not believe her ears when she heard his answer.

''I'm not hungry.''

Was she losing her phenomenal hearing? Had she lost too much weight? Had Lord Shen's cannon hit her so hard? Was her chest finally starting to grow? Did Crane and Viper really have a crush on each other? Were the last two questions that random?

These and more tortured Tigress' mind, as she could not understand how such words could come out of Po Ping's mouth. She turned to look at her friend with a dumbfounded expression and a dropped jaw.

The panda needed not more than two seconds to realize what he had just said, and rapidly struggled to fix his mistake.

''Tigress, I meant.. Uh, I'm not hungry, because I just ate! Yeah! I sure did! Y'know, I stole Monkey's cookies before training and I..''

''You WHAT?'' An especially angry Monkey suddenly busted through the doors, as if on cue. And for some reason, he looked feral. ''Do you have ANY idea how much those have cost me? It was a special recipe, only available on Christmas!''

Po cursed in mandarin, as Tigress kept Monkey from attacking him. At that moment, it seemed to be a hard task, even for the Master of the Tiger Style.

But Tigress felt somewhat relieved. At least the answer to all her questions (save one) was no. Actually, she felt so relieved, she did not even notice that Monkey's sentences, at first being ''Po, come here so I can murder you!'' soon turned into ''Po, where the hell are you going?''.

When the tiger finally snapped out of her reverie, she realized that, indeed, the Dragon Warrior was nowhere to be seen. She rapidly shut her comrade's mouth with a fierce glare and asked in a demanding tone.

''Monkey, where is Po?''

The shrug she received as a response was not to her liking at all, so she let the frightened primate go and headed towards the kitchen, muttering something about how cookies always manage to ruin the Christmas spirit.

Her fast pace brought her to the beautifully decorated kitchen and her beautifully decorated... companions, as they were all wearing red caps and made the picture more classic, even cliché, in Tigress' opinion.

''Guys? Has anyone seen Po?'' She questioned, glancing at each one of the Furious Five before occupying her seat at the table. She was not worried about the panda: he could take care of himself. But if Master Shifu found out the Dragon Warrior was not present during the celebrations because of someone's antics, they would never get a winter break again.

Mantis, who was currently enjoying his delicious meal, was the first to answer. ''I rhoughr rhe wagh wighf rhyou.''

As Tigress struggled to keep her eyes from rolling at her friend, Viper, who elegantly stopped eating and used her tail to wipe her face with a tissue, hurried with the translation. ''That meant: I thought he was with you. And actually, so did all of us, Tigress. What happened?'' She then asked, looking at Monkey, who had followed, with the corner of her eye.

The tiger did not have time to respond, as the Master of the Monkey Style threw his hands in the air, looking hopeless.

''He said he ate my cookies! The special ones! This guy is going to take me to my grave!'' He yelled, falling on his knees and looking ready to cry. The truth was, not even Romeo and Juliet had had such a special connection as Master Monkey and his almond cookies. Two couples who were destined to never be happy.

Viper couldn't help rolling her eyes. ''They say only women can be drama queens...''

But Mantis and Crane shared a confused look, before glancing back at Monkey. Then, without any type of warning, the avian used his gift of flying to reach Monkey's drawer and fetched a small box. Then, he came back down and placed it on the table.

''Nobody stole your cookies, Monkey.'' Crane calmly explained, seeing the look of utter happiness on the primate's face at the mere sight of his beloved almond cookies.

But his happiness only lasted until Mantis rapidly jumped in the opened box. ''Until now.''

''DUDE!''

The girls exchanged a look of complete disbelief and horror, as it dawned on them. Master Shifu was going to explode when he found out. It was settled: at midnight, the Dragon Warrior was supposed to do something special for the Valley, but Shifu did not want to tell the Furious Five what. Anyways, they could not have Po disappear at that time!

''If you guys care for your lives even the slightest bit, I suggest you shut your mouths and pay attention.'' Tigress said menacingly, her scarlet eyes glowing murderously.

The males instantly stopped their rather violent actions and looked at the tiger, Mantis still nibbling one last cookie.

The feline nodded approvingly and continued. ''We have to find Po until midnight. Earlier, if possible, so I can rip his throat out for this stupid prank. That means we have four hours, at the maximum.''

The serpent was shaking her head with a frown. ''But why would he do this?''

Her response was the sound of cracking knuckles. And they were Tigress'. ''I'm dying to find out.''


	2. Chapter 2

Christmas For The Furious Five

A.N.: OMG I'M SUCH A... *Gets hit by mother* OMG MY COMPUTER IS SUCH A... *Stops to dodge another hit* OKAY, I HAVE A DAMN EXCUSE! Umm.. Well, some of you know, some of you don't... My laptop has viruses...T.T And, well, Microsoft Word just SIMPLY STOPPED WORKING! GAAAH! I couldn't work on ANY of my stories until it got fixed! Which is.. Two hours ago. XD YES I started writing IMMEDIATELY so don't MURDER MEEEEE! Anyway, NO, I haven't abandoned Journey Through Time, I just lost my inspiration for the moment. And YES, I know Christmas has passed, but I'm NOT leaving ANY of my stories unfinished, fellas. Now that we have that cleared... Hope ya guys aren't THAT mad.. And, well, yeah, enjoy.

Also, I want to thank ALL of my reviewers for the brilliant reviews that made my day. I won't be answering your reviews one by one, since I have pretty much the same things to say... Except... To FFcrazy15: OMG thanks for reviewing, did you know I'm a HUUUUUGE fan? Oh, wait. I think you knew... Ahem. XD

Disclaimer: YOU are the ONLY thing I didn't miss!

Christmas For The Furious Five

Chapter 2

''WHERE ARE YOU, YOU MORONIC BALL OF FUR?'' Tigress, the Master of the Tiger Style, Grandmaster Shifu's adoptive daughter, the leader of the Furious Five and the most humble and respectful Master in the Valley of Peace, yelled at the top of her lungs while her eyes gleamed murder. The panda was not going to live much longer after his stunt, she had promised that to herself.

Though the tiger was extremely stressed as she did not want to feel her Master's wrath, her companions were, or tried to be much more relaxed and cooperative.

''Do you think he'll answer to that?'' Mantis whispered into Monkey's ear, the look on his face confirming that it was an honest question.

The primate seemed to be deep in thought for a moment, but then he shrugged. ''He'll be dead anyway.''

''Oh, yeah.''

The two Masters received a mildly annoyed look from sweet, caring Viper, who was actually worried about her best friend. Truth was, the last time Tigress acted like that was when Monkey stole her vest while she was taking a bath. To that day, nobody knew whether the primate had sudden curiosities at that age or he thought it was a carpet - he had no memory of that day whatsoever. Viper then wondered if Po was going to remember that Christmas.

To the feline's defense, they had been looking for the Dragon Warrior for quite a few hours and in every usual and unusual place for him to be. His room was empty, the men's bathroom would have been empty as well if two fan girls hadn't been hiding there with paper and paint brushes ready - for obvious reasons, and the Peach Tree was as peaceful as ever, with no hungry pandas yelling in despair since it was winter and it didn't grow any peaches.

Also, he was not staring in awe at the Pool of Sacred Tears, which was a huge disappointment for the Masters because it was miles away from the Palace. He was not punching the iron trees and crying about how it hurt, neither was he practicing his 'Stealth Mode' in the woods - the trees were all in their place.

The Masters were on the roof of the Jade Palace at that moment and Tigress' voice had just caused an earthquake. Either than that, everything was peaceful near the Palace.

Crane was thinking of all those, registering them in his mental diary. He used to do that before he came to the Jade Palace since he used to be ignored and he had nothing else to do. Frankly, he could remember almost every single page in his mental diary - a clear example of bird mind's power.

The Jade Palace... The avian's eyes widened as it dawned on him. Yet, he was not sure whether he should tell Tigress and die of her frustrated anger, or keep his beak shut and die of Master Shifu's wrath when the Dragon Warrior wouldn't show up to do his 'special' job.

It was impossible for him to decide, so he turned to his best friend, Master Viper.

''Uh, Viper?'' Crane whispered, so Tigress, who was currently pacing back and forth, wouldn't hear.

The serpent centered her gaze on him, yet she still followed Tigress with the corner of her eye. In her mood, it was not excluded that she could trip and fall.

''Yes?''

''Could you give me an honest opinion?''

She lifted an eyebrow at her friend's rather worried expression.

''Yes...''

''Do you think we should tell Tigress that Po could have been in the Valley this whole time?''

At that moment, the tiger tripped. Her head hit the floor, her legs somehow flew behind her back and she started to fall, her fangs leaving traces on the jade surface. She finally hit the ground, sinking in the snow with an 'Ow'.

''Tigress!'' Shrieked Viper as she hurried to help her friend out of the hole she had created when she fell. Crane followed close behind, but Monkey and Mantis stood still, with narrowed eyes.

The serpent noticed and removed her tail from Tigress' neck in anger, the feline's head hitting the ground again in consequence.

''What the heck are you two doing?''

''Memorizing...''

''Now, now, Viper...'' Crane comforted the mildly riled up Master, patting her back with his left wing.

Tigress then stirred, gathering her friends' attention. ''Oow..''

''Tigress! You okay, sister?'' The serpent hurried to ask, seeing that her friend's eyes were rolling in different directions.

Tigress rubbed her head. ''Yeah... I can only remember...'' She muttered, trying to get her eyes to stop spinning.

Crane gulped.

''...Having a brilliant idea. Guys, I think we should go search for Po in the Valley, maybe he's been there the whole time.'' Tigress said with a smile, lifting herself on her feet, but still rubbing her head. ''You with me?''

The avian gleamed. ''Oh, Tigress! What a gorgeous idea! I would have never thought of it! Guys, you heard her, let's go!'' He quickly said, maybe too quickly but he didn't care.

As he and his friends ran, slithered and flew towards the Valley, he looked up at the sky. ''Thank you, God, for making her fall..''

''Crane!''

''Sorry, Viper.''

As the Furious Five could see, every single pig, goose and rabbit was in a frenzy. It was getting closer to midnight - to their despair - and everyone was excited about the Dragon Warrior's surprise - to their anguish.

Actually, it was hard to stick together while walking (or trying to walk) among the seemingly crazed citizens of the Valley. They were all heading towards the huge Christmas Tree, the Five assumed, since it was finally lighted and it shined so brightly it was extremely hard to miss, even for a blind man. They had to admit, Po had done a very good job with the tree... Why on Earth would he give up the rest?

''Excuse me, sir...'' Tigress tried to approach a random pig. ''Have you seen..''

''Master Tigress! Oh, the joy! You're the person I wanted to see! Come, please, come, my children's wish for Christmas is to meet you!''

''I'm sorry, sir, but..''

''Oh, I _insist_!'' The pig said and, before she knew, the feline ended up being dragged through the multitude of animals.

Monkey then stole a hat from a goose running nearby and held it close to his chest, sorrow in his eyes. ''And this is the end of Master Tigress...''

''Monkey!''

''Who, me?''

Viper sighed in exasperation.

''Yes, YOU! We've gotta find Po, look at the moon!''

And she was right, the moon's position in the sky signaled that it was close to midnight. Monkey looked at the moon, then at Viper, then he closed his eyes in mournful silence, tightening his hold on the hat. ''This is also the end of Master Monkey...''

''HEY, GIVE ME BACK MY HAT, YOU THIEF!'' The random goose, now back, yelled, jumping on the primate and pinning him to the ground and proceeded with a strangling maneuver.

Viper, Mantis and Crane couldn't do anything about it, since they were being pushed and tossed aside by the citizens, who wanted to get to the Tree as fast as possible because the celebrations were about to begin.

''Guess it is the end of Master Monkey...'' Mantis muttered, struggling to keep himself alive in the sea of feet rushing by.

''MANTIS!''

''Oh, Viper, we're glad you know our names. Yes, I FRIGGIN' KNOW WE GOTTA FIND PO! AND I FRIGGIN' KNOW WE'RE GONNA DIE! AND I FRIGGIN' KNOW THIS PIG IS STEPPING ON ME BUT I HAD TO FRIGGIN' TELL YOU ALL THAT!'' Were the last words Master Mantis said before he became invisible under said pig's foot.

Viper, though, was concerned about something else. ''I thought I taught him to speak nicely when I stuffed liquid soap down his throat a few years ago...'' She whispered, shaking her head. Then, she turned to Crane. ''Crane, I think it would be best if you checked from a higher spot...''

The avian nodded and took off. As he reached higher into the sky, he marvelled at the rather huge amount of people gathering to see the (missing) Dragon Warrior. They were going to leave disappointed, since the chances of finding him were getting smaller by the passing second.

He was so deep in thought he only noticed the immense Christmas Tree when he slammed into it. Even worse, he ended up trapped and, eventually, strangled by tinsel, while his feet were captured by the tree's branches. If he could, he would have kicked himself.

Viper watched her friend end up stuck in the Christmas Tree with a sorrowful, yet somewhat annoyed look. It was painful when people stepped on her tail, but she started to stop caring about it, especially when she heard _the gong_.

''No...'' she muttered, shaking her head in anguish and disbelief. It was midnight and Po was missing. The world cheered around her, yet she sank to the ground. They were all dead and, even worse, hundreds, maybe thousands of people were going to end up disappointed... On Christmas.

''Oh, my God, Master Tigress, is that really true? Oh, my God, you're so awesomeee!''

**BANG!**

The tiger's heart skipped a beat and she halted her movements and all her attempts to escape.

'No, not the gong...' she thought and barely resisted the urge to slap herself. It was over, they were dead.

''Oh! Oh! Oh! Daddy, daddy, do we go now? Now?'' A little pig (one of the eight children, in fact) asked, jumping up and down.

His father chuckled and nodded. Just then, all his children left the house, cheering, not even stopping to wonder why Master Tigress was not following. Actually, said Master only lowered her gaze and sighed. They shouldn't have bothered - their Christmas was sure to be ruined.

''WAIT! HOLD IT, POPS!'' Monkey kept yelling as the old goose kicked him in the face. ''THAT'S NOT THE SPIRIT!''

The bird glared daggers at the primate. ''You stole my hat. I have that hat from my father, who got it from his father, who got it from his own father, whose father got it from his father...''

The goose kept rambling, but Monkey had stopped listening. Yet, his fur jumped off of him, but came back soon after because of the cold. He had heard the gong.

''Oh, we're so damn screwed...''

Mantis coughed blood. ''Why do pigs...'' He muttered, then stopped to cough again. ''..Take breaks while stepping on small creatures like me?''

The insect Master had somehow managed to crawl to safety under a few boulders and he was pitying himself for his cruel fate, yet being grateful for he had not lost consciousness.

**BOOM!**

Master Mantis fainted.

Crane thought it could not get any worse. He imagined how 'beautiful' he must have looked, stuck in a tree.. No, in _the _Christmas Tree every single person in the Valley of Peace was staring at. He was captured by _tinsel_, of all things... He could recall being tied with rope, chained, but never wrapped in tinsel. Never that.

Also, he couldn't move his legs either... He, Master Crane, was immobilized by a tree. And, no, it could NOT get worse. He could not _imagine_...

**BAM!**

He never learned his lesson...

''Citizens in the Valley of Peace!'' Surprisingly, it was not Grandmaster Shifu who spoke, but Zeng. He was standing on a pedestal close to the Christmas Tree, yet it was high enough so everyone could see him. His shy, almost terrified, squeaky voice made Viper, Tigress and Crane, the only ones conscious (Monkey had also fainted due to being constantly strangled), pay attention to the Palace messenger.

''We have gathered here today to celebrate the launch of Apollo 12 in an experimental mission...''

The crowd suddenly went 'Huh?'.

Zeng blushed and hurriedly searched for something in his pockets. He took out a piece of paper and started reading it, then blushed even more furiously and put it back in its place.

''Err.. We have gathered here today to celebrate Christmas together, as a family, for the first time in two decades. And, since it is such a special occasion, the Dragon Warrior and Grandmaster Shifu have a very special surprise for you all!''

The croud cheered, all except the Furious Five, who lowered their gazes in shame and disappointment. Monkey and Mantis, who had regained consciousness, were also paying close attention while struggling to find their friends.

But Zeng wasn't finished.

''They have invited the most special guest in the world for you! Let's welcome... Santa Claus!''

The children cheered even harder at the sound of that name. They had heard of Santa Claus, but he never came to the Valley!

Just then, a big figure dressed in red appeared next to Zeng. There was also a smaller one, dressed in green, and moving from one foot to the other as if he did NOT want to be there.

''Ho ho ho!'' The big figure said and he strangely sounded like...

''PO?'' Every member of the Furious Five exclaimed, not believing their eyes. It was not possible.. The panda was missing! And yet... Santa Claus DID have quite the belly...

''Hello there, children, teenagers, adults and all other awesome guys and girls out there!'' Santa yelled.

''Definitely Po.'' Tigress muttered to her friends, as they had found each other in the meantime, except for Crane, who was still in the tree, his beak opening with a crack.

Viper glanced at each one of her friends, still confused about something. ''But.. Who's the smaller, green guy?'' She asked.

Just then, the.. elf.. spoke. ''We have come from far lands to bring presents to the wonderful children in the Valley of Peace!''

The Furious Five's jaws dropped to the floor. ''MASTER SHIFU?''

''No.. This day.. Isn't real..'' Tigress muttered, her head starting to hurt badly.

''You mean... We were worried out of our skin... And these two had the whole thing planned out?'' Viper added, lacking of members to use for slapping her face.

Monkey and Mantis glanced at each other and sighed. ''Dude... It's not fair...''

The Master of the Tiger Style couldn't help but chuckle. ''Why don't you tell Crane?''

''Good point.''

The Furious Five watched for the last time how Po and Master Shifu called every single child in the Valley and offered him/her a present from the big red sack.

Viper glanced at the feline. ''Should we help Crane off and go home or do you want to stay?''

Tigress did not even have time to answer.

''We GO! I'm so tired I'll fall asleep on the ground and I don't want to be stepped on again!'' Mantis complained.

Tigress shrugged, but the serpent gave Mantis a horrible look. ''Yes.. You and I will have a talk about good language tomorrow...'' She hissed.

Mantis gulped.

The tiger chuckled and shook her head. ''Guys... Merry Christmas.''

**-The Next Day-**

''Master Shifu?'' Tigress called to the Grandmaster when she spotted him walking down the hall.

''Yes, Master Tigress?'' He answered her with a small smile, though he had dark bags under his eyes (There were a lot of children in the Valley of Peace.).

The tiger smiled back. ''It was quite heartwarming of you to do what you did last night, Master, Po as well. Yet...''

Shifu nodded his head thank you, but lifted his eyebrows. ''Yet?''

''Yet, it is not like you to dress up like an elf in front of the whole Valley... How did the Dragon Warrior convince you?'' She asked. After all, she was mildly curious.

Her Master flushed a bit and slightly turned his head away. He even chuckled nervously, which made Tigress lift an eyebrow. But finally, he spoke.

''I beg of you, Tigress, do not destroy the whole palace, but... He said that he would propose to you if I did not agree.''

Tigress twitched.

''POOOOOOOO!''

~Fin~


End file.
